Boy band members have never really been high on my list of respectable
people actors. Sure Justin Timberlake made the transition successfully, and has actually pulled off some decent parts here and there, but in general,no. Siblings of boy band members, themselves quasi-popstars in their own right, even less so. That's why tonight's feature really reeks of trouble. It brought my mind back to an outing with Usher that left me contemplating if it was all worth it. I decided then it was, but tonight my reality is once more turned upside down when I take a critical look at...
|That would've been my raction too. If Aaron Carter was Kenny Rogers.|
Aaron Carter. The name and his picture on the cover photo had me dreading this for a while. Most of the flicks on here, I have no prior knowledge of, right down to not knowing a single person on the cast list or anything whatsoever about the plot besides what a 5 year old could deduce from the title/cover. This one, however, I dreaded. Because, Aaron Carter. And the premise just brought a weird deja vu on. I'm not sure still what it reminds me of, besides the Usher flick (that at least made an attempt at excitement.) It's like Paris Hilton’s movies: (speaking of, she's been pleasantly absent for a while.) You know they are going to suck, not just because the movies are shit, but because even complete fucking crap can still somehow be dragged down by her performance, or lack thereof. That's what I went into watching Popstar with, and I think I wasn't disappointed? Honestly I'm not sure if this whole movie was tongue in cheek and had a laugh on its own expense, or if it was dead serious and consequently super stupid. We will have to analyze our way to the truth. Please follow me… TO THE PLOTMOBILE!
|When we first see the janitor, I literally did a double take. What the fuck? No. And to just open random lockers to random kids? Seems legit.|
|He plays kindergartens and pre-schools when he's not busy doing movies. With his beach inn buddy.|
|Justin embodies every high school geek cliché. And apparently that's a magnet for types like |
|Hahahahahahahahaha... No. Nope. No.|
|Another cliché? Yes. This movie stocked up at the cliché store. Hot popular girl sure isn't going to help him pass math.|
I wasn't annoyed or angry as much as just mildly disinterested in this flick. I started it and went to the bathroom, and for a split second I actually feared I'd miss out on some plot point that might result in me not understanding what was going on. I came back to JD McQueen in concert still, and I also remembered that it was a B100 movie, and that I could watch it cut into 20 bits, shown out of order and still fully understand what was going on. The whole reason JD has to go to school is because his record label will drop his ass if he doesn't go on tour the following summer, despite him being the youngest singer ever to have 16 Billboard 100 hits and sold a bajillion albums. He just had an album out and literally just came back from a world tour. And still, they will drop him if he doesn't go on another. And his mom won't let him tour if he doesn't have a high school diploma. So that's why everything in this movie happens. To top it off, it seems his opening concert for that new tour, which is also the last scene in the movie, makes everybody hook up. He and Jane, her mom and JD's sleazy manager, the Janitor (who has been giving weird sage advice throughout the movie) and Jane's recently dumped at the altar sister. Also a tertiary character named Justin, who asked both the 'hot girls' to the prom is in the audience and asks that London character JD had as a special friend to the prom. She accepts on account of not having been to her own, despite looking like she just started high school. She has a weird Tara Reid vibe about her and I didn't know what to do with that.
|She blogs about JD! How 2005. Who the hell has a blog anymore?|
The only really candid moment in the movie, that raised my doubts whether this was an inside joke all along anyway, was the final scene where Aaron Carter performs a track on stage. His audience consists almost entirely of 8-14 year old girls, reminding me, on several ways, of Justin Bieber. Bieber tries to come off as some kind of badass prankster dude, but it's really hard to take him seriously as a tough apple when you know he performs exclusively to screaming early teen girls with little hearts in their eyes. Aaron Carter, at least, got out of the game early on. Or did he?
|I like how she's sort of idling in the background awkwardly. Show the world, JD. This is IT!|